No more being chained to this sucker on the recliner chair or dragging it into the bathroom with me. The brown bag one is the EVIL one. The light sensitive Dacarbazine that take 3 hours for infusion and burns like hell. Grrrrrr....
Showing posts with label Treatment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Treatment. Show all posts
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Mr. IV Cart
No more being chained to this sucker on the recliner chair or dragging it into the bathroom with me. The brown bag one is the EVIL one. The light sensitive Dacarbazine that take 3 hours for infusion and burns like hell. Grrrrrr....
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Day 141 3/1/10 Monday
Last chemo!!!!!!! Though I’m just tired and my hands are all weirdly tingly. I think it’ll hit me more when I’m over this cycle and realize I don’t have to go back after 2 weeks anymore. Hallelujah. It feels a bit anticlimactic because there’s still much to do.
Echocardiogram, pulmonary function test, PET scan, CT scan, more blood tests… And of course I’ll be back at the oncologist’s in 3 weeks anyway
Echocardiogram, pulmonary function test, PET scan, CT scan, more blood tests… And of course I’ll be back at the oncologist’s in 3 weeks anyway
Friday, February 26, 2010
Day 128 2/16/10 Tuesday
Back to feeling blah again. Mainly in my stomach. But my god! Only one left! I managed to eat lots of delicious foods thanks to my brother’s company today. Though my arm ached the whole time during chemo (and dammit, it still does even now at night), the nausea hasn’t completely kicked in. So I pigged out as usual.
At least there are Olympics to veg out to all week.
At least there are Olympics to veg out to all week.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Day 113 2/1/10 Monday
Sixth session of chemo done! Two more to go! Maybe today was a bad vein, but today was definitely one of the tougher chemo sessions. The vein hurt again when I was infused with dacabarzine. I also started getting nauseous and experiencing that metal spoon taste in my mouth before I was even done with chemo. It must be that cumulative effect. I’m soooooo glad it’s almost over.
Tired and stressed as he was, the bf picked up dinner and surprised me with some Pinkberry. ☺ He also managed to coordinate with my dad and meet up in the afternoon so that my dad could drop off more of mom’s food for us. It’s time like these I have to stop and make sure I don’t take any of these efforts from my loved ones for granted.
My childhood friend, R, took a day off to take me to chemo and we caught up on the past year’s events. We hadn’t seen each other in a year and unfortunately (or fortunately!) the first time we’re meeting up again is for her to drive me to a chemo session. She cracked me up – to get everyone off her back at work and allow her to come with me, she used the whole “I’m taking my friend to chemo” to make everyone feel bad and leave her alone. Hey, glad to be of service! Whatever works.
Tired and stressed as he was, the bf picked up dinner and surprised me with some Pinkberry. ☺ He also managed to coordinate with my dad and meet up in the afternoon so that my dad could drop off more of mom’s food for us. It’s time like these I have to stop and make sure I don’t take any of these efforts from my loved ones for granted.
My childhood friend, R, took a day off to take me to chemo and we caught up on the past year’s events. We hadn’t seen each other in a year and unfortunately (or fortunately!) the first time we’re meeting up again is for her to drive me to a chemo session. She cracked me up – to get everyone off her back at work and allow her to come with me, she used the whole “I’m taking my friend to chemo” to make everyone feel bad and leave her alone. Hey, glad to be of service! Whatever works.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Day 107 1/26/10 Tuesday
I have eczema! Stupid chemo and incessant handwashing… The dermatologist noticed that none of my current medications or cancer status was in the computer. Strange. Anyway, she told me I looked good, gained some weight (pooh) and we caught up on our personal lives. Yes, THIS is why I love all my doctors in this network and will drive 20 miles out there. Sigh.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Day 99 1/18/10 Monday
Chemo is now more than half over! Whoo hoo! It was the fastest chemo treatment yet. It took just under 4 ½ hours instead of the usual 5+ hours. The bf came with me, once again, under pouring rain conditions. We both slept through a chunk of it, read magazines, and chatted a bit. The best part was that for the first time, the dacabarzine didn’t burn like hell. I don’t know whether they found a tougher vein or if it was more saline, but yay for the nurses!
The downfall, since nothing can be all that perfect, is that the nausea started especially early. It started today right after our afternoon nap. Bleh.
The downfall, since nothing can be all that perfect, is that the nausea started especially early. It started today right after our afternoon nap. Bleh.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Day 96 1/15/10 Friday
What an eventful day! First the bf and I FINALLY started counseling together. The original purpose was to help him with the caregiver support type grief counseling. But now I think it’ll also help us with all of our stupid little problems and become more of a couples counseling too.
After the counseling, I trekked back out to Pasadena again for the doctor’s visit and the results of my PET scan. I got the BEST NEWS EVER! Apparently most of the lymph nodes have shrunk back down to normal and the metabolic rate of the cancer is near negative! That means, she’s reducing the amount of chemo to 4 more sessions. Then a month of radiation. I nearly started crying at the office when she told me. Instead of 4-6 more months of chemo, it’s only two!!!
Of course there will be scans and blood tests every 3 months for the next three to five years or so, but I’m half way done! I’m almost in shock that I might not get to be taken care of by these wonderful nurses so soon.
After the counseling, I trekked back out to Pasadena again for the doctor’s visit and the results of my PET scan. I got the BEST NEWS EVER! Apparently most of the lymph nodes have shrunk back down to normal and the metabolic rate of the cancer is near negative! That means, she’s reducing the amount of chemo to 4 more sessions. Then a month of radiation. I nearly started crying at the office when she told me. Instead of 4-6 more months of chemo, it’s only two!!!
Of course there will be scans and blood tests every 3 months for the next three to five years or so, but I’m half way done! I’m almost in shock that I might not get to be taken care of by these wonderful nurses so soon.
Day 94 1/13/10 Wednesday
PET/CT scan day! The PET scan is no fun, on account of wanting to throw up when you first go in the machine, but I survived.
It reaffirmed to me how much I love like 95% of my health care team. Joe, the tech, not only remembered me, he also remembered that my veins were tough to get an IV in on the first try. He also got my thank you card, saying other than his immediate family, mine was the only other card he got.
I have to admit, though I’m good with thank you cards, I never thought to thank my doctors or techs until all of this happened. And now that I think of it, why don’t we all do that more? I know they’re doing their job, but I imagine like every other job, a little appreciation goes a long way and hey, helps the patient too!
It reaffirmed to me how much I love like 95% of my health care team. Joe, the tech, not only remembered me, he also remembered that my veins were tough to get an IV in on the first try. He also got my thank you card, saying other than his immediate family, mine was the only other card he got.
I have to admit, though I’m good with thank you cards, I never thought to thank my doctors or techs until all of this happened. And now that I think of it, why don’t we all do that more? I know they’re doing their job, but I imagine like every other job, a little appreciation goes a long way and hey, helps the patient too!
Day 92 1/11/10 Monday
I am restless but may have overbooked myself for the rest of the week in overcompensating for the past week of inactivity. My right arm inexplicably aches. Hopefully the chiropractor will be able to help me out with all the bizarre aches and pains I’ve been getting.
The PET/CT scan is happening Wednesday. That should tell us a lot about my progress. Otherwise what I feel is drudgery toward more of the chemo. It’s not a fun schedule. And yet it’s the only sense of schedule I have these days. I imagine I might even miss the attentiveness of the nurses, the attention and leeway from friends and family, and having to keep to this rigorous treatment once I’m done. Kind of like Stockholm syndrome but with a disease. It’s a wary dance.
To top it off, my flaky shedding head, it’s like Ally Sheedy’s character in The Breakfast Club, where she shakes her head vigorously and dandruff and crap fall to the desk. I’m gross.
The PET/CT scan is happening Wednesday. That should tell us a lot about my progress. Otherwise what I feel is drudgery toward more of the chemo. It’s not a fun schedule. And yet it’s the only sense of schedule I have these days. I imagine I might even miss the attentiveness of the nurses, the attention and leeway from friends and family, and having to keep to this rigorous treatment once I’m done. Kind of like Stockholm syndrome but with a disease. It’s a wary dance.
To top it off, my flaky shedding head, it’s like Ally Sheedy’s character in The Breakfast Club, where she shakes her head vigorously and dandruff and crap fall to the desk. I’m gross.
Day 90 1/8/10 Friday
Finally, after five days… relief. That’s four days of Miralax and a day of coffee thrown in for good measure. Stupid chemo.
Hair is barely hanging on. The bf thinks it’s hilarious to pet my head and see how much hair falls out. He seems to have made more peace with my possible/eventual baldness than I have. I’ve taken to baring my teeth and attempting to bite his hand when it comes near my head. Because I’m all mature about it that way.
On a bright note, looks like we’re the front runners for the new apartment one street over. I’m so excited though the prospect of packing and moving seem extremely daunting at the moment. I will celebrate and worry on Monday when the management company confirms whether we get the apartment for a good price or not.
Hair is barely hanging on. The bf thinks it’s hilarious to pet my head and see how much hair falls out. He seems to have made more peace with my possible/eventual baldness than I have. I’ve taken to baring my teeth and attempting to bite his hand when it comes near my head. Because I’m all mature about it that way.
On a bright note, looks like we’re the front runners for the new apartment one street over. I’m so excited though the prospect of packing and moving seem extremely daunting at the moment. I will celebrate and worry on Monday when the management company confirms whether we get the apartment for a good price or not.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Day 87 1/5/10 Tuesday
This morning I blew my nose and hair fell off my head. That is so annoying. My hair thins more and more each day. Yet, it’s not quite so bad where I have a bald spot yet, forcing my hand to shave it all off. This in between stage is the pits, but maybe when I’m bald I’ll be singing another tune. For now, I shed more than my cat!
On a bright note, the doctor said four more cycles (or months) should likely do the trick for kicking the cancer’s ass. Of course, we still have to battle the ever retarded Blue Shield and get my PET/CT scans approved for next week. That way, she can check the progress to confirm her guestimate.
I also got a slew of errands done today in preparation for the next couple days of staring at the wall time. I’ve actually been waiting for the nausea and metal spoon taste to set in today, but it’s nearly 8pm and it hasn’t hit me yet. It usually hits by late afternoon but maybe I lucked out today.
On a bright note, the doctor said four more cycles (or months) should likely do the trick for kicking the cancer’s ass. Of course, we still have to battle the ever retarded Blue Shield and get my PET/CT scans approved for next week. That way, she can check the progress to confirm her guestimate.
I also got a slew of errands done today in preparation for the next couple days of staring at the wall time. I’ve actually been waiting for the nausea and metal spoon taste to set in today, but it’s nearly 8pm and it hasn’t hit me yet. It usually hits by late afternoon but maybe I lucked out today.
Day 86 1/4/10 Monday
Round 4 (or end of cycle 2) for chemo. Pigged out on McDonalds AND sushi today, bracing myself for the next few days of eating blahness and nausea. I probably should take this opportunity to eat healthier. One of the worst news I’ve gotten from the doctor during this debacle (other than “you have cancer”) has been “if you thought this was a weight loss plan, it’s not… the (anti-nausea) meds have gotten so good, most patient tend to gain weight.”
Well great. Not trying to be all ungrateful or anything, but since I was all prepared to be puking my guts out or never wanting to eat, I figured I’d look at it on the bright side as an opportunity to lose weight. Now, the joy of eating on my good weeks, as if the apocalypse is about to rein about us at any minute, is lessened. I’m gonna be bald AND fat. Sexy.
Other than being cared for by awesome nurses, the whole chemo IV drip part is uncomfortable. The nurses have to come by every 10-15 minutes with hot towels on my arm to dilate the vein. Otherwise, it’s this unpleasant pressure on the vein akin to an awful burning sensation. Yeah, sounds horrifying to me too.
Well great. Not trying to be all ungrateful or anything, but since I was all prepared to be puking my guts out or never wanting to eat, I figured I’d look at it on the bright side as an opportunity to lose weight. Now, the joy of eating on my good weeks, as if the apocalypse is about to rein about us at any minute, is lessened. I’m gonna be bald AND fat. Sexy.
Other than being cared for by awesome nurses, the whole chemo IV drip part is uncomfortable. The nurses have to come by every 10-15 minutes with hot towels on my arm to dilate the vein. Otherwise, it’s this unpleasant pressure on the vein akin to an awful burning sensation. Yeah, sounds horrifying to me too.
Day 83 1/1/10 Friday
Well, first day of the new year and it’s the same ole crap.. The bf is depressing the hell out of me and I have chemo on Monday. I feel like I really need to make the most of the “good” weekends and I do – I try to see friends and do low key things out of the house. However, I’d like to do more fun things with the bf without him worrying or not being in the mood that particular time. More than ever, I have a freakin schedule now and he really needs to understand that.
The support group yesterday is always good. The two ladies who run it are very smooth at keeping things running along lightly and filling in the awkward spaces when a particular member is down or in the middle of an emotional breakdown.
I unloaded a list of new symptoms on the doctor yesterday and she gave me various meds for nearly each of them. One of them seems to be the early stages of neuropathy. My fingertips are mildly desensitized and my thumb joints are aching. I’m staring to lack the strength to open caps or do anything that requires pressure on my poor little opposable thumbs.. However, now I’m yearning to play the piano!
The support group yesterday is always good. The two ladies who run it are very smooth at keeping things running along lightly and filling in the awkward spaces when a particular member is down or in the middle of an emotional breakdown.
I unloaded a list of new symptoms on the doctor yesterday and she gave me various meds for nearly each of them. One of them seems to be the early stages of neuropathy. My fingertips are mildly desensitized and my thumb joints are aching. I’m staring to lack the strength to open caps or do anything that requires pressure on my poor little opposable thumbs.. However, now I’m yearning to play the piano!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Day 77 12/26/09 Saturday
Luckily, Christmas was a blast with family. My stomach was cooperative and I enjoyed some DELICIOUS food for lunch and dinner. Ahhh, that makes me so happy. I even scored some leftovers from my aunt.
I see that I’m getting sparser with my writing again like the other blog, but there are days, especially like this week when I feel so lackluster and depleted of energy and motivation. Someone, (I forget who since I’m losing my memory) told me to try to at least write one line each day, even if it’s something like “I feel crappy today.”
In some ways, chemo is getting tougher. I guess the side effects are just cumulative. My hair thins more and more each day though I guess I still look fine. Shedding so much and losing clumps of hair in the shower everyday is driving me mad. It’s only a matter of time. Everyone is always so surprised so see that I still have hair and not all pale and sickly.
The nausea seems to get worse and last longer though I have yet to actually vomit. Whew. Came kinda close at 4am last night.
My stomach has so much trouble digesting food now and man that constipation sucks. The appetite part though does have a pattern. Which could be good or bad if I can’t actually eat certain foods since my stomach has veto power.
For this past chemo session, I had the misfortune of accidentally moving the IV needle when lugging the IV rack with me to the bathroom multiple times. This resulted in the chemo not going in correctly for a minute which BURNED. I had to get restuck on my other arm and now my left arm aches. The nurse said this would last up to 3 weeks and as long as my arm didn’t change color or swell up, I’d be fine. Holy crap!
The nurses suggested a port as did my aunt who had breast cancer. Ugh. We’ll see after those PET scans in January.
I also have a weird skin thing on my stomach. About a diameter of half an inch. I think it was a rash that I scratched and now won’t heal. The bf is so worried about it, but I figure it’s just a bad scar. Will have to remember to bring it up on Thursday for the follow up visit. Man, only 3 chemo sessions down and I’m already so sick of this. At least the blood tests have lessened. AND the doctors and nurses seem very positive about how I’m reacting to the chemo in terms of not having any serious side effects and losing all the swelling. I’ll try to focus on that for now.
I see that I’m getting sparser with my writing again like the other blog, but there are days, especially like this week when I feel so lackluster and depleted of energy and motivation. Someone, (I forget who since I’m losing my memory) told me to try to at least write one line each day, even if it’s something like “I feel crappy today.”
In some ways, chemo is getting tougher. I guess the side effects are just cumulative. My hair thins more and more each day though I guess I still look fine. Shedding so much and losing clumps of hair in the shower everyday is driving me mad. It’s only a matter of time. Everyone is always so surprised so see that I still have hair and not all pale and sickly.
The nausea seems to get worse and last longer though I have yet to actually vomit. Whew. Came kinda close at 4am last night.
My stomach has so much trouble digesting food now and man that constipation sucks. The appetite part though does have a pattern. Which could be good or bad if I can’t actually eat certain foods since my stomach has veto power.
For this past chemo session, I had the misfortune of accidentally moving the IV needle when lugging the IV rack with me to the bathroom multiple times. This resulted in the chemo not going in correctly for a minute which BURNED. I had to get restuck on my other arm and now my left arm aches. The nurse said this would last up to 3 weeks and as long as my arm didn’t change color or swell up, I’d be fine. Holy crap!
The nurses suggested a port as did my aunt who had breast cancer. Ugh. We’ll see after those PET scans in January.
I also have a weird skin thing on my stomach. About a diameter of half an inch. I think it was a rash that I scratched and now won’t heal. The bf is so worried about it, but I figure it’s just a bad scar. Will have to remember to bring it up on Thursday for the follow up visit. Man, only 3 chemo sessions down and I’m already so sick of this. At least the blood tests have lessened. AND the doctors and nurses seem very positive about how I’m reacting to the chemo in terms of not having any serious side effects and losing all the swelling. I’ll try to focus on that for now.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Day 59 12/7/09 Monday
Round 2 of chemo. It still took 5 hours because the Dacarbazine burns like hell if it goes faster than the speed of a 3 hour drip. Even then, the nurses had to keep heat pads on my arm to dilate the vein. Annie said this time this must have hit a bigger more tender vein. Sigh.
Bf kept me company today though I’m sure it was a little boring for him. Packed room today. I still took the longest and was the last one there. Pooh.
Bf kept me company today though I’m sure it was a little boring for him. Packed room today. I still took the longest and was the last one there. Pooh.
Day 56 12/4/09 Friday
Today I got some of the best news I’ve gotten in awhile, especially from a doctor! After telling the Dr I was getting cabin fever and a bit depressed being trapped at home so much, she told me to go out! She ordered me to see a movie this weekend, go to the mall, go out and enjoy myself!
Apparently, the weekend before chemo will be the time I’m at my best, in terms of immune system. No masks needed, just be careful with washing hands and all that good stuff. YES!!!! I’m going to see New Moon and and indulge my inner teenager.
Apparently, the weekend before chemo will be the time I’m at my best, in terms of immune system. No masks needed, just be careful with washing hands and all that good stuff. YES!!!! I’m going to see New Moon and and indulge my inner teenager.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Day 46 11/24/09 Tuesday
1st day after chemo. So far so good. My lymph nodes immediately stopped aching. What a miracle! No signs of nausea so far…
Scratch that. It’s 5pm. I woke up from a nap because the anti-nausea pills make me all drowsy and now I’m nauseous. Took another pill and waiting for it to kick in. Sigh. Guess I couldn’t go scott-free for long. Drowsy and nauseous. Bleh. And trying to keep fluids going in so as not to go into toxic shock for tumorlisis or whatever they call it as the chemo flushes all this lymph node crap and dead cancer cells out of my system. I can barely keep my eyes open. Sheesh. Now I’m not sure I want to eat either. Except that I have enough food in the fridge from mom and my cousin to last 2 weeks.
Scratch that. It’s 5pm. I woke up from a nap because the anti-nausea pills make me all drowsy and now I’m nauseous. Took another pill and waiting for it to kick in. Sigh. Guess I couldn’t go scott-free for long. Drowsy and nauseous. Bleh. And trying to keep fluids going in so as not to go into toxic shock for tumorlisis or whatever they call it as the chemo flushes all this lymph node crap and dead cancer cells out of my system. I can barely keep my eyes open. Sheesh. Now I’m not sure I want to eat either. Except that I have enough food in the fridge from mom and my cousin to last 2 weeks.
Day 45 11/23/09 Monday
1st day of chemo. It went better than I expected. Even the IV part was too bad. Was just super groggy from the Benadryl they put in the IV. Thank goodness I had Sarah there to keep me company. She’s so low key and I didn’t have to worry too much about her being bored. I think the bf would have been bored out of his mind and restless for 5 hours. Right now I just feel so waterlogged but trying really hard to keep drinking as much as possible like they advised. So far so good with the nausea… crossing my fingers that it’ll stay that way. I even took a preemptive pill just in case.
I have tons of texts and emails from friends and I feel so loved.
I have tons of texts and emails from friends and I feel so loved.
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