This morning, I had a sonogram of my heart taken and PET and CT scans of my entire upper body. It was a long morning and not the most enjoyable thing, but I’m crossing my fingers that nothing is lighting up where it’s not supposed to. I’m really hoping the cancer hasn’t spread but sometimes I worry since I feel so crappy most of the time. I feel myself deteriorating each day – the sweating and fevers are getting worse, getting more fatigued, and everything aches.
I know chemo will start in possibly 2 weeks and we just have to get through this egg harvesting thing, but 2 weeks of feeling this crappy or getting worse than I already am, is a bit frightening.
I can’t even remember the last time I felt good anymore. Everything aches. My back aches from the biopsy, my neck aches from all the swollen lymph nodes, and my head just randomly aches from time to time.
I was thinking today how difficult this must be for the bf. Being the caretaker for someone who is sick is much worse because you’re kind of helpless to do anything and have to cater to the sick person. I was thinking if the roles were reversed, I’d be so stressed and miserable.
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