I debated over just how much to share in regards to my relationship with the bf while going through this. I worry about permanently painting him in a horrible light, hanging out there for the world to see, especially when he doesn’t even know I’m publishing a blog about everything or will ever be able to share his perspective. However I’m also hoping that in not censoring my feelings through this ordeal, it’ll remind me of the best and worst of this time.
Today, in a total 180 from Friday, I feel almost as energetic as my old self, positive, somewhat cute in my new skirt and tights, and not so heartbroken anymore. Why? Maybe it’s the beautiful sunny day outside. Maybe it’s because the bf did some adequate damage control in his apologies, his reassurances, his affection, and his minimal complaining in spending the day with my family all day Saturday for Chinese new year’s eve. Or maybe it’s because I feel my best right before the chemo and I gained an extra day of freedom and feeling well with the chemo delayed a day for the President’s day holiday.
Knowing that I’d be cooped up again for the upcoming week, I was restless to be out getting stuff done on this wonderful day. Amazingly, I managed to meet a friend for lunch, do a little unpacking, run some errands on my own and go out for dinner and dessert – all without feeling like I wanted to crawl under the covers and pass out. It’s amazing how being able to do these simple things, even for a day, brings me so much joy again.
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